Been eons since I’ve worn a beginner butt plug. It spurred memories of being a teenager, when inserting a mere finger was a feat.
But I don’t feel nostalgic. Having a well-trained ass is way more fun. So, to amp up my fun, I inserted VeDO’s Bump Rechargeable Vibrating Butt Plug without any lube.
Don’t do this.
This is a me thing, not a you thing. I can insert (well-lubed) toys that have circumferences of 7″+ with minimal effort. You (probably) can’t. Lube is your strongest ally in the war against an empty ass. Without it, you will get hurt.
But the fact that I’m able to insert the Bump sans lube is important. It’s less a testament to my anal prowess and more a testament to the plug’s ergonomic, sleek design.
I wish my first butt plug had been the Bump. Instead, I had a medium Nexus plug. It’s slightly thinner than the Bump, but beginner plugs are not defined by thickness alone. The Nexus’ problem is it’s designed for prostate stim.
Don’t get me wrong: Prostate plugs are awesome. But they lack tapers, so they’re horrible for introducing you to anal play or stretching your ass.
VeDO’s Bump has a gradual, consistent taper. It has a tip circumference of 2 ⁹/₁₆” that slowly expands to 3 ¹¹/₁₆” at its thickest point, culminating in a neck circumference of 2 ⅛”. This design lets experienced anal players like me insert it without lube, and it will let beginners (equipped with healthy dollops of lube) painlessly embark on their anal journeys.
I have more to say about the Bump’s ergonomics. But I’ve been ignoring something important. Let’s talk about
Forget the Bump is a butt plug, just for a moment.
But not by a lot.
I consider the Tango the king of bullet vibrators. But the Bump is only a mild downgrade and it costs less than half as much.
Beyond the great bang for your buck, I enjoy the Bump’s vibration patterns.
Yeah, I said it: Nobody seems to like vibe patterns, but the Bump’s patterns are actually decent.
The big problem with patterns is they often involve the vibrator turning completely off. HIGH INTENSITY — nothing — HIGH INTENSITY — nothing — HIGH INTENSITY — nothing. The short periods of nothingness are supposed to build anticipation.
They don’t. They just piss me off.
But the vibes on the Bump’s seven patterns never stop. They’ll go low, but even the lowest level feels good and, more importantly, doesn’t vex me.
If you’re one of the many people who hate vibrator patterns, you might actually enjoy these. At the very least, you’ll hate them less than the patterns on other vibrators. And, of course, you can always use the unpatterned low, medium, and high settings.
The Bump’s power button has a simple yet important innovation:
So no matter how you sit, even if you’re on a wood chair with a level-flat ass, you’ll never inadvertently hit the button.
I love this button design, but I mostly just feel disappointed in other vibrating plug makers: This should be obvious. Perhaps other plugs with recessed buttons exist, but I can’t find any. All the buttons I see senselessly protrude, inviting accidental presses. How is VeDO’s design not an industry standard?
Relax. Breathe. Savour the vibes.
I normally don’t recommend vibrating beginner plugs because many people don’t take long to progress past this size. Non-vibrating plugs are cheaper, and if you’re only going to use a toy for a short period, you might as well get the most cost-effective body-safe option you can.
But after you outgrow the Bump as a plug, you can still use it as a damn good bullet vibrator. And it’s a rare bullet vibe with a flared base, so you don’t have to avoid internal anal play, as you do with the likes of the Tango. Furthermore, it’s submersible, so you can safely enjoy its vibes in a tub or pool.
Hell, even if you don’t want a plug at all, this would be a solid buy as a bullet vibrator.
Back to the Bump’s ergonomics.
The most dubious aspect of its design is its mild pointiness. A pointy tip can uncomfortably jab your rectal wall.
But the Bump doesn’t jab me at all.
I think this is because its 4 ½” insertable length, while not short, isn’t long enough to be an issue. Regardless of whether I stand, sit, or assume any other position, the Bump remains comfortable.
I have another plug, Tantus’ Ringo, that does poke my rectal wall. Despite being substantially thicker than the Bump, I believe the relevant design difference lies in Ringo’s 5 ⅘” insertable length. Because the Bump is 1 ³/₁₀” shorter, it avoids Ringo’s jabbing problem.
To be fair, nearly all beginner plugs are at least a little pointy. If you want both a taper and a small maximum circumference, it’s unavoidable. For beginner plugs, having a taper to ease insertion is more important than having a rounded, rectal wall-friendly tip.
VeDO’s Bump gives me little to complain about. I’m in a complaining mood, so that bums me out. But my bum is enjoying the Bump’s blissful vibes, so that makes up for it. If you want a beginner plug or a damn good bullet vibrator, you ought to get a Bump, too.
My thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me VeDO’s Bump Rechargeable Vibrating Butt Plug in exchange for my honest review. This post uses affiliate links, which give me a commission if you buy something, but don’t cost you a cent.